Thursday, October 27, 2011

Minding and Mine-ing Your OWN Business

This morning in a conversation with my daughter, Cindy, I was describing Inspirational Coaching, explaining to her that I coach the nuts and bolts under the nuts and bolts of business: the metaphysical meanderings of the soul desiring to manifest itself creatively.  I said, "It's the business of you!"  I realized with this statement that we all are entrepreneurs; entrepreneurs of our own lives: the writer, the director, the producer and the star of the "me" show.  I believe as adults we all create our own story, our personal scenario, but usually unconsciously, driven by thoughts and perceptions, beliefs and values that may have been given or pushed on us by culture, parents, peers, teachers and people of authority, not chosen by us. Becoming conscious of the process, mine-ing our own business is a movement, a journey within, that allows us authentic, empowered success of minding the store (the outer manifestation).

According to Webster: entrepreneur. n., a person who organizes, manages, and assumes responsibility for a business or other enterprise, one who undertakes.  How well are you "organizing, managing and assuming responsibility" and "undertaking" the "enterprise" of you? How conscious are you of the minding or mine-ing of your business and your life? 

Believing that the macrocosm is a reflection of the microcosm--and vice-versa--it's difficult to separate the two.  If we're not "minding" our business, we're not mine-ing who we're authentically meant to be.  How many stories do we hear of what appears to be an outwardly successful person who has wreckage in their personal lives? Someone who wasn't "mine-ing" their business.  Or someone like me who mines the inner life, constantly reading/researching/re-inventing, but doesn't "mind" the store. (My work in this incarnation is to get the show on the road, of which I can now announce is occuring. It takes what it takes; my soul-finger beckoning over and over again as I dart and bob, weave and serpentine, go out, come in--ever so patient as I've moved like a turtle toward the finish line.)

We can please some of the people all of the time, all the people some of the time, but we can't please all the people all the time.   -anonymous

Years ago I read a book entitled, What You Think of Me is None of My Business, by Terry Cole Whittaker, which gave me insight and permission to step out of my co-dependency of concern about what other people thought of me.  After all, I didn't have any control of what others thought; if I did, what could I do about it? and, how many times had I not been true to myself because I was worried what others might think? "What you think of me is none of my business" became a mantra so that each and every time I ran the gamut of  worrying what the proverial "you" was thinking of me-- you probably weren't giving me a piddle of a thought anyway--I'd see those words flashing in front of me as if they were a neon sign blaring a warning of caution and consciousness as to where my mind was meandering. Ms. Whittaker asks us, "...are your afraid that if you express yourself FULLY (capital letters, mine), you will be rejected?" No one wants to feel the pain of rejection, I know I certainly didn't.  But self-rejection was the biggest pain, and I learned I could take charge of this by writing and living my own life script, and that excluded concern and time wasted worrying about what you thought.

I learned to quit shoulding/woulding/coulding all over my shoes.  As I loosened the grip of co-dependency, FREEDOM TO BE ME became the new neon sign, the new mantra. Carl Jung named the process of moving beyond what others think, individuation.  This is the process, the digging and delving into the soul, which is the work of becoming ourselves which is distinct from the "others" around us.  Yes, metaphysically, we are all one, but in the human experience, we are each a personality.  And we want to be an original and authentic personality, not a conglomeration of what the outside world is.  We want to live our gifts and talents that emanate from our souls, not what the outside might be luring us to be.

            The value I place on myself and my business is the same value the world returns to me.

78 cents to the dollar; this is the recent statistic of what women are paid to what men earn.  Shocked!  After all these years of women's emancipation, my feminist butt almost fell off the chair.  After I'd gathered my witts, I said, "Oh, yes, it's still a patriarchal, hierarchal system."  In the past two days I've heard two women relate stories to me, where I read between the lines, of them giving their services away.  Now, women, take notice: YOU'RE NOT HELPING THE CAUSE OF EQUALITY!  Each of us has a responsibility to value ourselves so we add to the dynamic of equalness (I might add that many men undervalue themselves also because the 1% ers want you for their slaves).  Early in my entrepreneur endeavor, a Harvard business graduate friend told me that I was sitting on a gold mine and only mining ore.  I took notice and I guarantee you the $200,000.00 I earned in 1982 was a result of his observation.  Thank you, Jay, where ever you are!

Ask yourself: am I mine-ing gold or ore, or is my mine (mind) closed? Ask yourself, then ponder it deeply, maybe in your journal: What value do I place on my gifts and talents?  Am I brave enough to ask for what I think I'm worth?  You do need to step beyond your ego, get into your emotions, to truthfully answer these questions. After all, if your don't value yourself, who will? Pay attention to Mnding and Mine-ing Your OWN Business!

Believing that my experience, strength and hope can shine a light on your parade. Until next time.

                                                                                                       Glori Jarvi
                                                                               Inspirational Coaching for Entrepreneurs


Monday, October 24, 2011


Do you remember several years ago the  little ole lady, who's chin barely cleared the fastfood counter at the burger joint, voraciously asking, "WHERE'S THE BEEF?"  When I typed the title for this blog, her demanding demeanor, her no-nonesense request, immediately came to the forefront of my mind.  Having seen the advertisement hundreds of time, years later, I am still able to conjur up the ad in precise detail, hearing and seeing her--the image is seared into my consciousness. And the "zest" of that cranky lady remains a vivid reminder to me of asking the simple questions.

So, how does this relate to you?  How can you, an entrepeneurial wannabe, someone wanting to make a transition in their life, apply the tactics of Madison Avenue to your journey? Answer: simply ask: What do I love? and say or do your intent over and over and over again; simple, but not always easy. As the ad execs in New York have been doing to us, as replicated in the current TV series,
"Mad Men," for several generations, its repetition!  Nature abhors a vacuum, so we need new material, new input before our psyches are ready to release the comfortable, old mantras, the same old record that has been spinning in our minds for who knows how long.  It can be done!  You are a pliable being, with an elastic brain as Dr. Joe Dispenza, of "What The Bleep...." scientifically informs us. The simple part is embracing this, the not-so-easy part is doing something about it.

                                   "How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively. 
                       "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."   
                                                                                -Trina Paulus

Hey, it's your life. Are you willing to do what it takes to step up and create your own show; to be the writer, director, producer and star?  Nothing changes, if nothing changes!  Having this awareness can be the first step in your metamorphosis.   No one ever said that it is easy for a caterpillar to become a butterfly, and nothing can rush that process by interceding with the time-line. Reading in Gregg Levoy 's book, "Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life,"  he writes about the author of  "Zorba the Greek," Nikos Kazantzakis, who's greatest regret was to hasten the butterfly process by blowing hot air into the opening of a cocoon when he was a child, I felt his right-now-on-my-time attititude. His impatience resulted in the butterfly's demise because its wings did not unfold naturally.  He held the struggling life form in his hand as it died.  "That little body is the greatest weight I have on my conscience," he wrote as an adult. (Gregg Levoy will be leading a seminar at Unity Church of Portland October 30, 2011)

Though the topic is "zest," I am not writing about zest-in-a-hurry, a not too unfamiliar scenario in a culture that wants instant gratification, or the zest-high, where we seek to have a manic zest. One of Webster's definitions of zest is, "an agreeable or piquant flavor imparted to something."  My mind wanders to the planning and preparing of a delectable dinner party. It is not something that is done in 10 minutes or sometimes even 10 days.  It takes time to plan the menu, shop for the groceries, who shall I invite?, send the invitations, design the table and place settings, grind, chop, puree and peel, slather the meat, boil and braise, set the table,  hang up your apron and dust some powder on your nose, then welcome the guests.  It's a process! One might not especially like the shopping part or the writing of invitations and place cards, but if the hostess was to leave out these specifics, what kind of dinner party would it be?  Simply because she isn't enthralled with one aspect doesn't mean she has lost her "agreeableness," her zest to the big picture.  Her zest remains the "piquant flavor," the ingredient that remains constant so when the doorbell chimes, she looks as cool and refreshed as if 1000 tiny fairies had done all the work.

My suggestion is to spend some time, maybe journaling or meditating, to discover your zest.  Ask yourself:  What is the ingredient that seems constant in keeping my dream alive? What does it look or feel like?  Maybe a collage, a vision board, is a good idea for you.  Place words and pictures on your vision board that seem zestful to you and place it where you can look at it several times a day, a month and possibly years.  Remember: like coming out of a cocoon, don't rush the natural process: there may be detours on your path, follow them, there are bogs of peat with lots of nutrients for your soul in unexpected places.  You may need some deepening that only out-of-the-way places can feed you. 

Or, you might choose the way that chose me.  A dream-finger beckoned me to stand in the power of a mantra for my zest.  It was one of those flying dreams.  I was working diligently, attempting to fly, with no success.  A being--not sure if it was human--came up to me and said, "The way to fly is to simply say, 'I can fly!"  It was a direction of brevity, so I said the obvious, lifting off the ground like nobody's business, flying as if it were in my DNA.  When I awoke, I knew the metaphoric meaning of the dream, and I morphed "I can fly," into "I can write, I can teach, I can do a blog, I can.........(you fill in the blank).  As I type this, there is my mantra, my zest, to the left of my computer screen, "I CAN FLY!" And you know what, I'm in the magic of flight everytime I embrace those three little words.

What is the "piquant flavor of your dream? It takes action and repetition, just like Madison Avenue does to us hundreds of times a day; this is what it might take for you to find our WHERE'S THE ZEST?

Believing that my experience, strength, and hope may shine a light on your parade, until next time,

                                                                                     Glori Jarvi
                                                                Inspirational Coaching for Entrepeneurs
                                                        "creating a panorama of possibilities for clients"